Seriously?!

Hi everybody.

As for friends who is in science stream, we're having Bio, Physics and Add Maths next week. *PANICS*... My maths was sucky, Chemistry SUPER sucky (even though we just took the exam today, but yes, im very sure i failed), Sejarah was okay.

I feel empty. Seriously. Like a part of me was broken into millions on pieces and its missing. I need a sign, a reason to stay alive! I feel. Empty. At one point, alcohol seems tempting. Then my head will be screaming "Idiot. Takda lah." Then i went all 'Screw You!' level of attitude. Then i went all empty n deep. Then i went writing and writing and writing non-stop. Its pathetic. One second, i went all 'You Ass!' emotional drunk, then i went into emo state, lying on the table for awhile with my head spinning, and the next thing is im talking myself into the whole 'Woman. Be strong. Worst thing has yet to come. Gotta stay strong to FIGHT. Stop sulking, you pathetic little weak bitch.' advise, to myself. I kinda find it funny, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..

Without any warning, without any alarm, without any sense or timing AT ALL. It happens. I mean, seriously?! So it will took you forever to hide it if this doesnt happen?! And it has to be the ONE to tell me?! Seriously?! And you actually have the guts or maybe a whee bit of stupidity to even ask me WHATS WRONG?! Seriously?! I feel like killing you, seriously! For once, i thought things are gonna change. For real. For good. And here ya go~ All happy and perky to ask me WHY AM I PISSED? Seriously?! This is just. URGH. If only i can just. URGH! And YES. I feel like screaming. I feel like yelling till my lungs burst. I mean, seriously?! This is just WRONG! Of course i have every right to YELL AT YOU!

SERIOUSLY!!

M o n G i e Z