Blood and slow snail sissy.

Im freaking out. Like, literally i feel like yelling Jesus Christ at the top of my lungs. Insecurity about my own home - wild imagination of having thieves crawling and wanting to get into my house creeps me out. And one more thing which definitely screams "holy crap ZOMG!" is having uncertain pursuit in career. This is me, trying to think about plans to fill in my absolute horror in job hunting. You may cry, "oh Jesus Christ you're only 16 and your life is A-okay, what for are you worrying about this right now and making a big fuss?"

This matters to me. Seriously, i kid you not.

My whole 16 year old life is filled with naive dreams, examples for ya so maybe you can get a clear picture or maybe laugh about it. Which i really dont mind, cause it's all for comedy? I dont know. I am a circus freak. :D

Recent obsession : being a surgeon. WHICH IS AWESOME FOR ME. Brain, blood, missing limbs! How awesome can this job ever get?! You can give death the finger, which is awesome by the way. You get to attach someone's limbs, fixing your heart or removing doll heads off your digestive system. Grey's Anatomy show me cases which i totally love. Yay for em. :D
Im not terrified by the scene of blood. Im okay with it! Im totally gonna go for it. But very recently, something pulled me back out.
The catch : You need to study. Like study study study for a long period of time. A VERY long period of time. Which, i do NOT enjoy.

Okay, heres the thing. To me, there are two types of people. One, people who want to succeed in life. Two, people who want to enjoy life. Me? I want to enjoy life.

That's why the surgeon thing has hit a snag. I suddenly realise - number 1 - studying was never my strong ability. Number 2 - i certainly do NOT want to waste anymore of my time to study and earn butt loads of money. I rather earn OKAY money and enjoy doing something i want to do. :D

Although the surgeon career seems tempting as hell, but i decided to put a stop and bye bye to the plan. Maybe you can say just because i simply say that i want to enjoy life. Well, hell yeah i want to. And thats why that hit something - again. If the surgeon plan is a no go - WHERE IS MY FUTURE PLAN HEADING?

Maybe this is just me. You guys might go with the flow with this whole career thing or you have everything planned out. But its a different case for me. What the hell am i gonna aim at? And see, we already come back to the freaking out part. I explain myself well, i suppose. :)

So? What should i do with my future? The question seems hanging inside my head and 10 different Teddys are working on it. I smell disaster. I smell failure in my head. WHAT ON EARTH SHOULD I DO?

And i do apologize, cause this is supposed to be my happy place and im suppose to spread my happiness and my 'jump with joy!' with you guys (or ANYONE who even bothers to drop by my blog and read what i type, Jesus Christ) BUT this post is about me. I want a target. But there's one thing for sure, that i am NOT going into the medical field. Which, is good right? So i wont killed someone and just say "oops, my bad. :D......."

That patient would be glad. :D

Im also panicking because my mom saw a guy in a car a few days ago, rounding our house for 3 freaking times and kept looking at our house with his pathetic thief-y (is that even a word?) eyes and stuff. I am mad, and im also scared. Sorry if i cuss here, cause im pissed. So you will know, Teddy cusses too. :)

I felt so damn unsafe here at my house area, cause the security measures here are...

BULLSHIT!

Theres even one time, which happens 4,5 years ago! This malay young dude, wears a quite smart outfit with a slingbag, walks in a leisure pace and just opens our front gate like a m-f-er! His movements and everything was so calm and cool, i was like W.T.S? He tried to open our door! Our freaking door! My mom panicked and on the car alarm. Then he didnt even budge!! He try to open the door and he wanted to come in! Then he only CALMLY walk out, close our gate - and walk out like a slow snail sissy. >:)

SERIOUSLY. SCREW YOU.

I am lying if i say i never worry about our safety every single night. This world is filled with crazy ass people. Jesus Christ you people need to get a life!

Sorry lol. Well heres what ive got to say.

NIGHTS.

Love,
Teddy